Friday, March 11, 2011

I can't even remember who said this

"Things happen for a reason."

I absolutely can't stand this phrase. Whether it's true that things happen for a reason or not is a moot point. The phrase is stupid and cliche and makes me feel like crap. I've gone from pregnant and full of hope to not pregnant. Isolated. Feeling like a failure. Like an empty vessel tossed at sea. I'm sad. In mourning. 

Don't tell me that things happen for a reason. Don't cast a rosy glow on my sadness. Let me have my sadness. It's one of the only things I have left. 


  1. I have also miscarried twice. As a clergyperson, I've heard my share of crap responses from religious folk. I have never subscribed to the notion that everything in the world happens according to God's will. It's insanely hard to be pastoral to someone who tells me that God planned for me to have two dead babies, and that somehow that's a good thing.

  2. Erika, thanks so much for sharing. What an inspiration you are. It sounds like your congregation is lucky to have you.

    The best thing I heard from a pastor: "We don't know why this is happening, but we do know God suffers with us." It wasn't said glibly, but with tears and sorrow.