Facebook. We all do it. It's awesome to keep in touch with people, but navigating the murky waters of 5 week pregnancy status updates and perfect ultrasound pics can be trying. Here's your complete guide on how to deal.
17. Read every post from every pregnant woman and cry continuously.
16. De-friend them all.
15. Feel bad and friend a few of them back while immediately blocking all of them from your feed.
14. Think about de-friending your pregnant sister-in-law again. Think about de-friending her in real life...
13. Glimpse an ultrasound pic in your feed. What. How can this be??? Realize you forget to block some of the soon-to-be fathers. Dammit! Block them all.
12. Wonder why your news feed is so light...
11. Wonder if so-and-so had her baby...
10. Visit her page and read all the updates you blocked for the past 4 months. Cry.
9. Get super pissed about some update and start screaming at your husband... "How NICE that everyone wants to bring dinner to the new parents!! Where were the dinners when our baby died?!" Realize that someone did bring you dinner and many people sent flowers. Still! Stomp around the house.
8. Tell yourself you're getting off facebook.
7. Realize you can't ... you love the funny musings from your brothers too much to quit.
6. Check your feed.
5. Dream of typing, "Hey pregnant bitches, no one cares about your stupid healthy pregnancy complaints!"
4. Post something about your fabulous LA child-free life. Relish the jealous comments.
3. Vow to give up jealously.
2. Vow to give up facebook.
1. Check your feed.