Friday, March 9, 2012

Next time someone comments on your stress

... Resist the urge to smack them and forward them this link to Let Me Google That for You.

Stress has become such a loaded word, and in the case of infertility and miscarriage, it's a way to blame the woman. Don't take it! You don't deserve it.

lots of love,

Tuesday, February 14, 2012


I hope you're not getting sick of my comments on movies, books, and TV shows that reference miscarriage. I think it's one of those things where once you've had a miscarriage, you see and hear about them everywhere. You receive the stupid comments with as much grace as you can muster; you might reach out and comfort someone else who is going through it; and when it comes up on national TV, you sure as heck want to see how they portray this sad event.

The HBO show Enlightened follows a character played by Laura Dern, who works in corporate America and is fresh off a downward spiral with drugs and alcohol. She leaves and goes to rehab where she faces her demons before returning to her job with new hope and viger.

In the episode that shows how her marriage fell apart with Levi (Luke Wilson), she reveals that the last time they were truly happy together was when she was newly pregnant. "Then the baby miscarried," she recalls. "Then our dog died. Then Levi started cheating..."

It's all very sad, but the way she phrased it got me thinking. Do you say, "The baby miscarried," or "I miscarried the baby"?

I'm pretty sure I say, "I miscarried." Should I change the way I say it? What do you say?

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Miscarriage and the Movies Part 2

Awhile back I wrote a post calling out some of the top movies, TV shows, and books that proliferate the same old misconceptions about miscarriage as fact. Imagine my surprise when the topic of miscarriage came up in two recent movies in a sensitive and real way.

1. The Help. I originally took issue with the portrayal of Celia Foot, who suffers multiple miscarriages and is the outsider among the white, bridge-playing ladies of Jackson, Mississippi. In the book she seemed too stupid and slutty and socially inept. In the movie version however, she came across as honest and kindhearted; a real person in the midst of all the Stepford Wives. The scene with Celia in the bathroom and Minnie comforting her was heartbreaking and sensitively drawn.

2. Young Adult. If you haven't seen this movie, stop reading because I'm about to ruin it for you. This was definitely a strange movie. You'll dislike the crazy alcoholic main character and assume she's a home wrecker and baby hater for much of the movie. As she chases down her high school sweetheart, who is recently married with a baby, you wonder... where the heck is the movie going? Then she has a complete breakdown on the lawn of his house in front of his wife and friends and family members, revealing why she is so upset. She and him were going to get married. They were going to have a baby. Then she miscarried at 12 weeks. She's definitely a major hot mess in this movie, but I liked the reveal of the miscarriage as why she lost it in her hometown.

BONUS: Jay-Z wrote a song for he and Beyonce's new daughter who was born this weekend. In the song he mentions their previous miscarriage being so tragic. I feel for them and am glad that they are letting the world know. Do you think miscarriage is losing some of its stigma?