From an elder at church (a woman btw):
"That was just a practice run."
My lost baby was a practice run. Like I'm some sort of "practicing" home-ec major from the year 1943? No.
A practice run is when you babysit a friend's kids, and after coming home smelling of baby puke and poo and play dough, you say to your husband, "Let's never, ever, ever have two kids under the age of 2."
A practice run is when you get a puppy, think it will never be house trained, and clean up endless piles of pee and poo. Puppy chews through all the carefully hidden cords under the TV cabinet. And the leather chair. And the coffee table. You think, hmmm this is preparing me for kids.
A pregnancy isn't practice; it's called REAL LIFE.
Also, why would you need to have a pregnancy in order to prepare for pregnancy? Gee, I'm so glad I ran through the roller coaster of emotions when I lost my baby! Now I will be so much more paranoid when the next baby comes! Seeeee practice!
Wow. What do you say to these people? Sometimes, the best thing for me was the shock and awe type responses so MAYBE they'd realize how insensitive their comments were.
ReplyDeletemy god. my reactions to these kinds of stories vary from anger to incredulousness to sadness. do people really BELIEVE this stuff? do they think AT ALL before these words leave their lips?
ReplyDeleteExactly. I never liked that comment, I always though... hmm, does that mean we're also practicing miscarrying? In which case, I was a quick learner because I went on to miscarry again and again. Love your response. So true!
ReplyDeleteMy Endo Journey, I think you're right on. Maybe if we just stare open-mouthed they will get it.
ReplyDelete