Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I thought my problem was STAYING pregnant?

In October I did everything right. Eating. Walking. Vitamins. Acupuncture, etc.

I was sure I was pregnant. I felt nauseated. I threw up once for NO REASON. One night my boobs hurt so much that I made my husband fetch me an ice pack, and I literally iced my boobs.

The only thing that came of my hard work to relax was two negative pregnancy tests and a horribly long and painful period.

In November I did everything right. Resting. Laughing. Vitamins. Acupuncture, etc.

I was sure I was pregnant. I felt exhausted. My boobs hurt and my brain felt foggy.

I had a negative pregnancy test this morning.

Going crazy,
Ed

11 comments:

  1. I think we are paddling boats in the same body of water. I have been going through the same thing the past year and a half. Its amazing how people react and what say. I find I have no one to talk to because it makes them uncomfortable which means I live in a bubble of isolation with no outlet.

    Just want you to know that you are not alone.

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  2. Progesterone is evil. The way PMS can feel EXACTLY like being very slightly pregnant makes me want to cry and tear my hair out on a monthly basis. I'm sorry. This sucks.

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  3. Darn imaginary pregnancy symptoms. My issues were of course infertility and recurrent losses- it was always a real treat every cycle... I feel for you.

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  4. I've been there many times, I know know how un-fun it is. I'm sorry.

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  5. Been there done that... many many times... in fact went through that just last month, and well it gets really old - REALLY FAST!! I've heard of people that actually think so much about being pregnant that eventually their body starts to produce all the effects of a pregnancy including the hormones... Sorry hunny!! Lots of hugs!!

    And Echo, there are lots of us out here in cyberspace that feel like you do... we aren't alone, we just feel like it...

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  6. i was in that boat a few months ago. period 6 days late…boobs maybe hurting…dry erase markers making me extra nauseated. 3 negative tests later…damn those things ain't cheap. tried talking to my aunt about it o 3 occassions…what was her response? "oh, i know, my period was late this month too and i am never late…yeah, i never break out too and i have a zit." yeah, you are 52 and probably going through premenopause. i am trying to get knocked up and am getting really frustrated with the experience.

    needless to say, when a two months later i tested positive, i kept it to myself. i told a few close friends and family members when i was busted for not drinking…i actually even lied to coworkers and told them i had quit drinking because i was having difficulty conceiving. it gets really old when you are pregnant but only a few weeks "i'm pregnant, but i haven't seen a doctor so i am trying not to get excited yet."

    after 9 weeks of very few symptoms i should have known. i started passing tissue on wednesday at work. (had to break it to the coworker i lied to…she sent me home). ultrasound the next day confirmed it…stopped growing at 5 weeks 5 days. now i am bleeding and trying to get past it. unlike so many of you i wouldn't let myself believe there was a baby until i heard a heartbeat. didn't make this any fricking easier. having lost both of my parents in the last 3 years, i am truly over spending my time grieving, but here i am again…and once again it is isolating. unfortunately death is isolating, whether it is miscarriage or otherwise.

    thanks for a great blog. it was helpful reading this today.

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss friend. What misery to go through. I feel ya.

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  8. thanks...i thankfully reached out to an old friend who i knew had gone through 2 miscarriages. she emailed me to call her immediately bc she was at home going through the exact same thing...9 weeks. it was good to talk with someone who is there at the same time.

    best of luck to you trying to get knocked up again. i will send fertile vibes your way.
    mel

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  9. @thesinglechef -- I know what you're going through. My last MC was quickly followed by losing both of my in-laws (and their cat) in rapid succession. We had to take a long break from TTC until I get my insulin resistance under control, but that turned out to be a good mental break, too, giving us a break from grieving for a while before taking the risk of adding any fresh grief to the pile. Constantly grieving really does get old after a while.

    @Echo -- sorry about the crazy-making PMS symptoms. I've been there, too, and it surely sucks.

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  10. I am in the same boat. Three miscarriages. PCOS diagnosed and treated. Now I can't get pregnant?! Every month is an emotional roller coaster. I am so glad I found your page, Ed. Thank you for being real.

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  11. Maybe you forgot to sprinkle the baby dust? Hehe.

    I'm sorry.

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